Embrace your thorn

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need, My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

- 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Maturing in my relationship with the Lord made me realize that He does not give us the answer we want to all of our prayers. Sometimes, the things we’ve been praying for Him to deliver us from remains because of its significance to our relationship with Him. For years, I asked the Lord to remove the thorn in my flesh; a weakness I was embarrassed to share. After many nights of crying out to Him, my weakness intensified.

I’ve battled with anxiety for about 7 years, and it has been an eventful journey. In the beginning, I would only experience it while I was doing something in front of a crowd. Whether it was at church during a youth service or giving a presentation, I was always accompanied by my thorn; anxiety. When it became unbearable, I did everything I could to avoid doing things in front of big crowds. When I was asked to sing solos in my church choir, I declined because I didn’t like the flooding feelings of anxiety that accompanied me. Ultimately, I found my place in the background because it suited my comfortability.

As I got older, the number of stressors in my life increased and my experience with anxiety changed. Whether I was doing homework, walking to class, or hanging out with friends anxiety followed me, and I was not able to pinpoint why. No matter how many times I journaled, prayed, or fasted, my anxiety heightened while every other situation in my life started to change.

After countless sleepless nights and rough mornings, the Lord started to change my perspective. Dealing with anxiety was connected to my dependency on God. It caused me to ask for His help with my daily tasks because I knew I couldn’t do them without Him. I reached a point where I was done letting it control my life, and I saw it as a blessing. Like Paul, I begged God to remove my thorn, it was a weakness that I perceived to be holding me back. However, anxiety was the very thing that kept me moving forward and closer to the Lord. Yes, it is still one of my weaknesses, but it has caused me to constantly depend on God for things I would otherwise try to accomplish myself.

Instead of letting my weakness consume my life, it became the place where God’s glory and strength showed up. A few years ago anxiety would’ve kept me from starting this blog and sharing personal stories. Even though I still experience these emotions, I know that I have to push past that because someone is going to be touched by reading about how the Lord is working in life.

Evaluate what you’ve been praying for the Lord to change in your life. Is your situation what keeps you connected to Him? Take the time to step back and pray that He changes your perspective so your situation can start to change. Your weakness doesn’t have to keep you from fulfilling your duties in the Kingdom. Let’s be proud of our weaknesses so our flesh can decreases while the Holy Spirit inside of us increases.

Prayer: Lord, I pray for all of those who will be reading this. I ask that you allow them to see their weakness in a new light and embrace the thorn you’ve given them. Continue to remind us that when our flesh is weak your power can work through us. Comfort those whose weaknesses feel unbearable and encourage them to stay dependent on you. Amen.

Reference Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:5-10

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