“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”
- John 16:33 CSB
I usually write the best stuff when I’m going through some sort of pain, so here we go:
It’s been a long time since I’ve consistently worked on this blog, and it is mostly because of how busy my school year got. I was balancing so much, and I wanted to focus on finishing my senior year strong. I also wanted to get a better handle on what the next steps would look like, and allow God to pour into me more than I was pouring into other people.
A year ago, if you would have asked me what my life would be like, I would have not pictured it like this. I thought I’d be deciding between law schools, continuing to make memories with friends, and actively planning for what the next phase of what my relationship would look like. But, as Proverbs 16:9 says, “we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Right now, I am far from where I thought I’d be a year ago, and in some aspects, I’m okay with that. In others, I’m still struggling.
A year that was supposed to be magical, turned out to be one of my hardest. Graduation is in a little over a month, and this truly feels like one of my hardest months rather than a time of bliss. For someone who likes to control everything (faithful readers will know this about me), this feeling is unsettling. With social media, you have access to people’s lives at your fingertips, and you see can see them living out your dreams in front of you.
So what happens when you wake up one morning and friendships seem to change, your relationship ends in heartbreak and school does not seem to be getting easier? In other words, what happens when life doesn't go as planned?
I’m still trying to ask myself that same question because right now, every single part of me feels numb. Amazing memories come flooding in, and my heart returns to its grieving stage because they are now distant. I never wanted to pretend to have all of the answers, but I did promise to share my life with you all. That meant the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The only way I know how to manage what happens when life doesn’t go as planned is to go back to the Author. The one who has written every page of my book. In a time where my heart is broken, I find peace in being at the center of His will for me. It is also important to focus on what you have to be thankful for. For me, that is my family, an amazing friend, and a future of bringing a kingdom mindset into the justice system.
Some may say I’m sharing too much too soon, and honestly they may be right. But I’m not sharing this to get comfort or affirmation from social media; I know where to find that. I’m sharing this so someone out there who is living in a completely different life than they imagined, will know they are not alone. I’ll be writing more articles soon about each of my different experiences, but right now, I’m struggling.
Thank you all for being so patient with me, and continuing to read my thoughts as they come. It’s been two years since I launched Gracefully Broken, and it continues to be a place I come back to when I need a reminder of God’s promises.
Xoxo,
Liz